The Good and the Bad

Hungry? I was, yesterday, as I looked at my empty pantry. So last night I had to go grocery shopping. Having no food at home is okay, though, as since I work at ____ Foods now I just eat my way through my shifts, anyway. (As with Starcash, I am omitting the actual name of the company I work for to 1. avoid any kind of lawsuit and 2. to avoid losing my current position. But I think you know exactly what I am talking about--just think fancy grocery store and the most popular organic foods market right now). Anyway, _____ Foods is all about free samples, a phat 20% discount, and leaving treats for the staff in the break room. _____ Foods is, appropriately enough, all about free food. (Note to self: increase duration and frequency of workouts so as to avoid "_____ Foods Fifteen"). But I know one must be an adult and still have some semblance of providing for oneself. That and I have today off and didn't want to starve all day. So, anyway, I shopped.

As I flew down aisle after aisle last night, riding the back of my cart as I went, I must admit I felt suddenly powerful in my new place of work, checking item after item off my list. Honey Crisp Apples, check. Echinacea for cold I am fighting, check. Whole Grain Wasa, check. Like a ruler that surveys the lay of her land, I relished a quiet satisfaction--it's not like I was completely lost before but now I know where EVERYTHING is because it is part of my job. More than that, if it's not there I know just who to talk to to get it. Grocery? Talk to Dave. Produce? It's Kilgor. Meat? Sean. Specialty? James. Whole Body? Alyssa. It's like being in a small secret society. You want it and it's not out there? They'll get it for you and will be happy to do so. Because you are a made man--you work at the granola-munching, whole-grain-eating, recycled-bag-toting, organic- produce-buying-society known as ______ Foods.

Suddenly Dave was at my side. Without even looking at my cart he said, "I know what you are buying tonight: Crackers. Spring water. Something from bulk. And maybe a cereal." Freaked out and thinking he was suddenly psychic, I asked him how he figured this out. "Something's leaking in your cart, dude. You left a trail of clear liquid wherever you went." Sure enough, the bathroom cleaner I had put in my cart? The cap wasn't on all the way so it had dribbled out wherever I moved.

Sometimes my life is like an "I Love Lucy" episode, I swear.

Speaking of Dave and my other new co-workers, any organization has its characters and ____ Foods is definitely not an exception. Here, a short list of people I share a time clock with:

(Disclaimer: as always the names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent and slightly granola. More than that, I am a strong believer in ______ Foods and am pretty much right there with them and their organic ways).

Dave--the old soul of the grocery department, Dave is probably about twenty-three years old. Just like Seamus at Starcash, he is laaaaaidback. Want some chocolate almond milk and it's not there? No problem, brotha. Just give him a few and he'll mosey on over there to restock it for you. No worries, friend. We throw gang signs at each other like we're hardcore then explode in fits of laughter. He buys forties on his way out of work like a forty-year-old would buy a fine scotch to sip once he got home.

Kilgor--is the diva of the produce department. He walks around among the hydroponic watercress and eight varieties of organic apples like Isaac Mizrahi would walk around his NYC showroom considering pieces to present at the next Fashion Week. He smiles and blows kisses at me and says loving things in his strong accent that I still can't quite understand. I blow kisses back. I heart him.

Drew-- is dreamy. Wait, did I just say that out loud? He is sweet and nice and the first few days when I was a little out of sorts and exhausted, Drew checked in on me and calmed my concerns. He also made me laugh and wowed me with his amazing blue eyes. More than that, he is a big shot in the Seafood department. He is so good at leading his department that he has been promoted to lead another Seafood department. With twice the people. At another store. I find this out and wonder how I am supposed to have my ____ Foods romance when the one I want to romance is leaving?

Johnny--is, for lack of a better term, smiley and works in the bakery. He smiles at me each and every time he sees me. He knows I have a huge soft spot for sweets. He gives me the broken cookies that they can't sell and is basically my dealer in this respect.

Ollie--is the evil twin to my friend Justin from Villanova. To a tee. We joke and laugh but he is also very gentle. I used the word stupid in a sentence. He said, "Not stupid. Silly. Stupid is a very strong word." Talk about a muffin.

Mateo--is from Sudan and likes the ladies. He flirts with everyone though I know he's married. He also calls me woman pronounced "woo-maaah-n" and likes to ask me how tall I am all the time (we are both at least 6 feet and he seems to like this fact). He also licks his lips a lot.

Willy--is quiet and small and has limited English. The whole first week I worked there he wouldn't speak to me nor make eye contact with me. I persevered, always saying hello in my "hey, friend" sort of way. He wasn't having it so I pretty much gave up. Then something changed. One day he said to me, plain as day, "Good morning. How are you doing today?" and then smiled. I was surprised. Surprised and intrigued. Ever since then we have always said hello. Last night he bagged my groceries as I was leaving. I asked him how his day had gone and he said ok. He also said, "Most of the time I think about good things. But sometimes I think about bad things." For the life of me, I couldn't figure out whether he meant bad things as in "naughty" or bad things as in "knives and guns". He then flashed me a strange smile. Scary. I think I'll just be sticking to hellos with Willy.

James--is the ace in Specialty. He is loud and boisterous and he knows his stuff. Want to know a creamy Irish goat cheese that is flavorful but would still complement a snappy Argentinian white wine? James is your guy. During my second week there he samples some cheese for me and the people I am training with--it is a cheese I have never tried before and it is delicious. It is also $42 dollars a pound. No joke. He admits to having made a grilled cheese sandwich with it in the back room. Suddenly, he is a god. I know we will be good friends due to one, his love of fine foods and two, his admitting that they curse like sailors in the walk-in cooler. He also keeps asking me if I'm quitting yet though I have said nothing to this effect to him or anyone at all. I begin to wonder if I am leaving another sort of trail wherever I go...

Which brings me to the other side: the bad part of working at ____ Foods. Though the people are awesome and the money is a more livable $10 an hour (as opposed to Starcash which was $8 an hour) it is still a hard job that I know can't last for me. First, I stand in the same place for 7 hours a day. I used to waitress and it was no problem because I was running around and I was younger. But I am 29 now and starting to realize my body does not do well with this sort of thing anymore. I ache and am tired all of the time due to the actively-inactive nature of the job. Second, it is a work environment where everyone wears jeans. But if I don't dress a bit nicer for work, the customers treat me like a peon. (In all honesty, though, they seem to be people who treat even their family members like peons). Third, I think all of the general public thinks people who are cashiers are morons. I can tell by the way they speak slower and louder to me, like I am hard of hearing and stupid. Sometimes I am tired, though, and just let them think what they want if it makes my job easier at that moment. Fourth, I get three breaks a day--a 30 minute break for a meal and then two 15 minute breaks peppered throughout the day. But I eat my meal at 3:30 due to the timing of my shifts so basically that is when I eat dinner. It's strange.

The job is affecting other things, too. I'm not writing. At all. Save for this blog, I haven't written or worked on my novel for weeks. Back when I was at NU, I kept seeing a job like this (non-committal, hourly, routine) as a way to save more time and physical energy and creative energy for writing. It has proven to be just the opposite. Since I am always tired I never have the drive to write. And this cannot last so I am sure my ___ Foods days are numbered. Because while I know I could move up the ranks kind of quickly due to my strong customer service skills, I am much more passionate about my writing and getting published than I am about food. But I never would have known this if I hadn't tried. So for the gift of this knowledge from this part of my journey and for the fact that I am still able to meagerly support myself, I am grateful.

On a lighter note, I have to go: I'm visiting Drew at his new store.

Oh, like you wouldn't.