Goodbye forever, Match.com.

Effective this Saturday, my Match subscription ends and with that, the 'part-time job' feeling I've been having in regards to maintaining my account goes with it. (Sigh of relief).

Curious as to how I made out?

During my subscription, my profile was viewed 2795 times by 911 potential suitors. (Not bad, right?) I was "favorited" by 7 men, contacted by 3 of those seven. I received over 50 winks. I received at least 75 emails. I went on 6 dates. Had at least 12 phone convos. Received more than 30 text messages. Was 'promised' I'd be asked out by 3 men but then was never actually asked out by those same 3 men.

I polished. I preened. I wore 'boob shirts'. I paid special attention to my make-up. I worked out 4 days a week. I got glossy.

To date, though, there is still no steady guy in my life. I was hesitant to believe he was hanging out on Match to begin with. But if this is all just a numbers game like they say, I still have to keep playing because the numbers did not work out in my favor, nor in this venue, this time around.

Part of me is annoyed. Like, as in "5-year-old temper tantrum" annoyed. Annoyed that I put in the effort and no one remarkable panned out. The other part of me is happy I did it. You have to be in it to win it and I threw myself into this and kept my heart open throughout the process. You can win or lose that way and that is just how it goes.

More important, it is amazing what you can learn about yourself while dating. It's like the other person is holding up a mirror unlike any other in which you can view, truly, how you really are. Through this process I learned a lot. Like how I am demanding but also pretty patient when it comes down to it. And how I appreciate good table manners and honesty and know I can always work harder to bring something more to the table, as well. And how I don't like those who curse on the first date and that guys with sisters usually know more about women than those who don't (but there are always exceptions to this). More than anything, I learned that people are complex and the more you try to fit them into a neat little box, the more they will never fit into your expectations.

In the end, I think Match did exactly what it was supposed to. It gave me a kick-start. It, in a manner of speaking, exposed me to a number of men I probably would not have come into contact with otherwise. And meeting people not only gets you out there. It also helps you figure out the kind of guy you really want afterall.

So, in a short list, thanks to my Matchcapades (thank you, Max, for that term) these are my absolute deal-breakers:

MUST be as tall or taller than me (no exceptions--I am tired of feeling like a giant).

Must be smart and have a good sense of humor.

Must be kind.

Must believe in God.

Must be close with their family.

Before going, I'd like to share my date last night which pretty much sums up my dating experiences lately. And, action:

I had a date with Scot who I nicknamed 'Scot-with-one-T'. The minute he walked in I knew he either didn't like what I looked like OR he thought I was too tall. I could read it all over his face--it was so strange how transparent he was. But we sat and talked and had drinks and then dinner and then even dessert. ( ! ) Why we would do all this is beyond me (when, truly, I got the vibe he wasn't into me from the minute I met him) but we did. I contributed interesting conversation points and asked him a lot of questions. He zoned out, no lie, 3 distinct times. As in he completely locked his eyes on one spot and zoned out 3 times during our conversation. I was thinking of saying something but then let it go, knowing this first date was probably also the last. Finally when we were leaving, we went out to the parking lot. He went for the shake and I went for the hug. Then he literally just turned around in the middle of our conversation and walked away saying, "Keep in touch," over his shoulder.

Oh, yes...the cryptic 'keep in touch'. This is the cousin of 'we'll talk to you soon' and 'take care'.

And with that, I bow out of the Match world for good. I am both appreciative of its power and annoyed by its limitations. After all of this, I think I need a major nap.

Happy dating, people!