Seduced? But how?

I don't drink coffee.

And in a society where it seems like everyone is sloshing back a cup of the arabica beans, this might seem a little...odd.

Truth be told, back in college I sucked down mochas like it was my job. The syrupy sweetness of the coffee mixed with chocolate was amazing, unlike any food experience I had ever had. Top it all off with some whipped cream and I was an absolute goner. To be fair, I did not need the caffeine to wake up. (I am a total morning person to begin with). I really just liked how it tasted. That and it felt cool to be a 'coffee-drinker'.

But a harsh wake-up call of another kind came after I realized how much sugar was in just one alone. (A whopping 34 grams of sugar in a Grande!) So I stopped the habit--cold turkey. When I had another, many years later, the caffeine gave me a horrible headache. That was enough of an impetus to give it a rest for good. More than that, I heard that coffee is not so great for you as it creates an acidic environment in your body and that can lead to weight gain and sickness and, well, who really wants that? Coffee was to be my partner no longer.

I soon grew smug about my lack of dependency on the stuff, silently looking down on all of those people who plunked down dollar after dollar at their local Dunkin' or Starbucks. They seemed unable to function without this daily trip and daily dose of the brewed beverage. Suckers, I thought, as I avoided this foolish economic mis-step. I'll never waste my hard-earned money like that. Never mind the time alone it takes to brew the stuff. What was it, I wondered, that made coffee so irresistable? So overpowering? So completely intoxicating on a daily basis? I would never fall into this strange beverage's clutches.

Well, never say never.

You see, lately I've been having a little bit of a problem: I'm absolutely craving coffee. I can't explain why things are changing all of a sudden and why my taste buds are all about making this old enemy a new friend. But I now love the smell and the taste. I still can't handle the full-force kind so I guess we should just state it for the record:

I'm officially addicted to decaf.

I know, I know...I can already hear your opposition: it's a weak, watery version of it's big brother Regular. A meek attempt at the good stuff. 'Why even waste my time?'

All I can say is I am powerless over it. And for the last two weeks, I have found myself helpless in regards to it on a daily basis. It will be an ordinary work day and I will be doing ordinary things. I'll be out grabbing lunch or running a work errand or checking in with some friends across campus. See? Ordinary. Then before I even realize what I am doing, I find myself--seemingly magically transported through time and space--to the counter of the neighborhood Starbucks ordering a Venti iced decaf Americano without so much as a second thought. I savor the cold, bitter flavor softened only with a bit of soy and maybe a flavor shot here and there and shake my head at 'succumbing' yet again.

Oh, coffee, how you taunt me.

But maybe it's more than just the coffee. Maybe it is the allure of being a member of the club--'the coffee drinkers of America club'. Because let's face it: if you don't drink coffee you are most definitely in the minority. Coffee is a shared experience. People crave it, need it to wake up, make 'runs' to get it. Why go for tea when you can 'go for coffee'? Tea may be better for you but can often come across as a 'hippy-dippy', old-lady-ish and boring alternative. Ask someone to tea and scones and finger sandwiches suddenly come to mind. Should I bring my shawl, you wonder. Ask someone to coffee and you are serious. You are getting down to business. You are 'interesting' and really 'going places'. Coffee is mod, hip, exciting. Let's be honest: Coffee equals cool.

Oh, coffee, how you influence me.

But maybe it's not just the beverage I am being 'seduced' by. There is something infinitely comforting about going to a place where you are listened to no matter what. And where you can order something exactly the way you want it and they will do it for you, no questions asked. Pair that with the clean environment, soft lighting and the calming music and this simple iced beverage turns into nothing less than liquid therapy. I might be having a good day. I might be having a bad day. I might not be able to figure out what kind of day I am having. Regardless, there is my drink--prepared just as I like it--there for me to enjoy.

Oh, coffee, how you comfort me.

Or maybe it is just a clever form of procrastination. A hip way to see and be seen as I go through my work day. Why go back to work when I can just go and get a coffee? If you head out to grocery shop in the middle of your work day, this is viewed as a no-no. What are you doing, people will wonder. Are you crazy? But if you head out for a cup of coffee, this is viewed with a shared empathy. I hear you, your co-workers might say. I'd love a cup, too. Coffee runs are a shared and socially-accepted way to slack off.

Whatever it is, I'm being seduced by the allure: of the beverage itself, the trip to get it and the shared experience of it all. Coffee is the lover I should not be talking to. The bad boy whose number I thought I lost a long, long time ago who I suddenly find myself taking the calls of, despite my repeated assurances that it will...not...happen...again. I know in the end it will be a long, drawn-out break-up filled with stops and starts but I surrender to it anyway.

I mean, I can stop whenever I want to, right?