Downward Duh.

This morning, I was definitely not in the zone.

I was in yoga and for the life of me, I couldn't focus or quiet my mind. I wasn't physically stumbling but I wasn't far from it. And I couldn't have been less present. My eyes were going all over the place, I felt shaky and my wrists were weak for some reason. And all I kept thinking was, This is why I love yoga so much. You can be a rockstar at it one day and then an absolute trainwreck the next. And either way, it's ok. As long as you keep trying, you are on the right path.

To be honest, though, I was also thinking, Hmmm, this shouldn't be this hard. Why am I so tired today? This tank top is a bit tighter than I thought. I'm hungry.

Anyway, I chalked up the class to, at the very least, being complete and made my way downstairs in my beautiful, state-of-the-art gym. I dropped a suggestion card in the box ("Keep 7am yoga going during the school year...PLEASE") and was just about to leave when I ran into Kelly, the yoga instructor for that morning.

Out of nowhere she stopped me and said, "Your yoga was so good."

"What?" I was confused.

"Yes," she continued. "You are getting so strong, I can definitely see a difference in your technique from the earlier classes you were in."

"I started yoga almost 2 years ago and then gave it up," I said, explaining myself like a five-year-old. "But now I am back," I said.

"Well, you looked really good," she said and walked away.

I said thank you and the biggest smile spread across my face. I practically floated out of the lobby.

How often are we our worst judges? How often are we the harshest voice we hear? There I was just exercising, thinking I was messing up entirely. Turns out, not only was I doing a good job but I was doing so well that someone actually noticed it. But what about when someone doesn't notice it? What are we supposed to do then? Just keep thinking we...suck?

In the smart words of Steph Martel, it is important for us to remember that we are, "perfect just as we are." We don't have to do anything to be good or ok. We are inherently good and ok just because we are. And if we remember that, we can pat ourselves on the back and quiet the inner critic whenever it rears its ugly head or whenever we feel like we can't get it together.

I am the biggest offender in regards to valuing 'doing' instead of just 'being'. I make to-do lists a mile long and then fret and get down because I don't get them accomplished. I feel better about myself when I am getting things done. I fear the connotation of 'slacker'.

It wasn't until just recently that I realized this might have been a learned behavior, not part of my inherent make up like I had always thought. Back when I was little, I remember being messy and forgetting things and running late and not being able to get my act together. I also remember being incredibly happy and the surest I have ever been of myself in my entire life. Life was fun! And if I messed up, there was always next time. But somewhere along the line I changed. I got organized and focused (which was good) but I also got antsy and judgmental (not so good). I adapted to suit my situation and environment and to get attention and with that got completely swept up in the Do it All mentality. This was my biggest mistake. I forgot I was ok, without doing anything at all.

Things I did a long time ago that I would ordinarily view as 'wrong' now, were and are still completely right. And maybe when I make time to be still and contemplative--to just be--it will only serve to help me: to not only be happier but to also be more realistic when I do need to get things done.

So instead of getting frazzled, get in line with just being ok with where you are. Here's to trying and failing and trying again. And to not slacking off but not driving ourselves crazy, either. And to just being.