Texts: Awful or Awesome?

I adore love letters. I always have.

They are beautiful simply due to their earnest intent. They need not be ridiculously thought out or grand in scale to be worthwhile. They don't need to use lofty words from some Jane Austen novel or be sealed with wax or carried by horseback or presented in any other "movie theatrical" sort of way. Really, just the act of writing something down on real paper, when everything is usually done electronically, and mailing it with a stamp to someone you have feelings for conjures up a wonderfully old-fashioned, thoughtful and romantic feeling.

I find it hard to put into words the warmth I get in my heart when I see my name handwritten on a piece of mail. Could there be a simpler joy? Who could it be, I wonder? And how lovely is it that they took time out to write to me? It is as if the little card is saying, as it sits waiting in my mailbox, Yes. I choose you. You are the one. And I am left walking on air, clutching the note as if it were the hand of my beloved.

Ok, ok. So, that situation above? Never really happened. The closest I got to a love letter was a love email. And a giant Hershey's kiss that Chris Albrizio gave me in the 3rd grade. I'm a late bloomer: this is how I roll.

Way back when love letters were much more commonplace, they were not sent out of choice but necessity. Phones did not yet exist. There were no computers or email. And texting? It had not even been imagined yet. Wars and disease and family feuds and political unrest separated lovers and prevented them from seeing each other for weeks, months and even years at a time. And so it was that a simple piece of paper united two into one. Nothing more than words to unite two spirits over time and space.

What were these words? Perhaps they were something passionate like, "I am sub lingual. You may not see me but I am still there, just beneath your tongue. Always a part of you." Or maybe it was something simpler like, "I dream of you each night and when I wake to not find you with me I wish I could sleep forever, just to be near you again." Whatever it was, it must have had meaning or substance or warmth to create a shared feeling and emotion that could not be expressed in person. It must have carried a weight of some sort.

So what is this latest infatuation of mine with love letters? And why does it seem like I am one small step away from talking in soliloquies?

I have been inundated with texts for the past six months. I'm definitely not complaining. To hear from someone you are interested in is nice in comparison with the alternative. But when someone you like chooses texting as their number one way to communicate with you, you often wonder how the other half lives. As in, those who talk on the phone or those who receive any written communication longer than 160 characters in length at a time. I have long shunned texting as a lame way to keep in touch when you are just starting to date someone. There is no tone in a text. And unless you are very familiar with a person's sense of humor, and if you're just starting to date them you are definitely not, then there is a lot of room for error as you try to get to know someone.

Communication can be tough for some people. Sometimes the guy is shy and he feels more comfortable texting than talking. No big, I get it. Girls can be just as cautious. But sometimes the person you are talking to is shady and texting is just simply a way to keep as many options open as possible. I mean, how can you tell if someone is lying if you can't hear the tone of their voice? Texting can mask or, in other cases, exaggerate certain traits in a potential mate.

And then it comes to the timing of the texts. If they write back right away do they really want to just talk on the phone instead? And if that appears so, who makes the call? Or if they take longer to respond are they busy or just not interested? Or is that reading way too into it and do normal 'call and respond' rules of communication no longer apply? Yes, if all of that sounds crazy it's because it absolutely is. But such are the questions that come to mind once you step into the hilarity that is the dating arena of texting.

Either way, what are texts afterall? The poor man's love letter or something more? Are they awful or awesome? And how have they come to have such a power over how we communicate in the dating world? I'm like everyone else in that I love how texting is simple and, usually, fast. But often I wish that texting could convey something a bit more meaningful. But maybe that is my own error--wishing for the sustenance of a salad after eating an Oreo.

When it comes down to it, our options are nowhere near as limited as before with regards to reaching out and touching someone (special). We can call, email, tweet, tag, Facebook, poke, IM and, yes, text. But I hope I'm not alone in saying that the number of ways in which we can get in touch seems to have only lessened the potency of our actual communication. I know this might be an opinion that falls in the minority but I would rather have less communication if what I did receive ultimately carried more weight and meaning and made me feel closer to the person I'm trying to connect with. Is my generation doomed to receive just texts instead of love letters, small and inferior snapshots of a much grander landscape? My only hope is no. When it comes down to it communication should be simple and direct. Even over text. And when we are trying to express insterest in someone this will always work:

You are there. I wish you were here. And that 'you' and 'me' were 'we'.

Hmm, that was only 73 characters. Maybe texting can redeem itself afterall. Here's hoping.