Operation: K.A.B.

O.k. So I haven't been completely honest with you. I know, I know...when we started this we promised full disclosure and here I am flaking out on you. (heavy exhale) Anyway, this is what I have been working on behind your back.

I am ready for love. I have run away from it for most of my life. I have found ways around it, ignored it or completely messed it up. But I am finally in a place where I am ready to find a great love.

I think it is because I like myself, finally. There is something to be said for just liking who you are. And I feel like I am in a great place in regards to that. I am not perfect and I am finally ok with that. I like most things about myself and that is a beautiful thing!

What I have also learned is I am great at loving someone else. I am a great giver. I have no problem putting the effort in. It is the getting it back in return that has always been a problem for me. Maybe it was because I never saw my parents kissing. Or because my father, the first man in my life, is a wee bit emotionally unavailable. Or I was just scared to see myself through someone else's eyes so honestly, faults and all. Whatever it is, wherever I've been, whatever I have done or failed to do, I am ready to get into a great relationship. Now I know that is only part of the equation. But for me, it has always been the biggest part--the being 'ready'.

I say this as background because there was a storm brewing among my co-workers in regards to my love life and I didn't even know it. And then one day, it let loose.

It was any other Monday morning. I was telling my co-worker, Mary, (my awesome partner in crime) and I think Lisa (my other favorite co-worker) who was there, too, about yet another guy I had met over the weekend. I was launching into how nice he was and what we had talked about it and how we had met when Mary, impatient, cut right to the chase.

"But, Liv," she interrupted, "did you kiss him?"

"No, no kiss, "I said sadly.

"That's ridiculous," she said. And with that she detailed how in the past 6 months I had been in contact with a literal bevy of men: two comedians, a firefighter, a cute brother and a slew of guys I had known when I was at Villanova. Yet, she continued, there was nothing to show for it. No phone calls, no dates, no exclusive relationships, no proposals and not even so much as a smooch. Lisa agreed.

Mary is a tough love kind of person. And even though it stung a little to hear this is exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes you don't know what you are doing until someone holds a mirror up and shows you.

She was right--I had been in contact with a great number of men over the past few months but had never just taken a leap and gotten involved with any of them. What the hell was I waiting for? The perfect man does not exist so why not just get out there and see who is around? Mary, being the insightful person that she is, realized it would be best to start small.

And thus, Operation: K.A.B. began.

Her challenge? To "K.A.B" or "kiss a boy", any boy, within thirty days. I didn't have to get involved with him, I didn't have to know him all that well, hell, I didn't even have to like him but I DID have to kiss him and do so within thirty days.

I knew what she was up to and I liked it! She was telling me to go for it in no uncertain terms and just take as many "love leaps" as I could. I amended the rules a little bit (I wanted to kiss a nice and cute guy within 30 days whom I could hopefully become involved with) but I understood the general spirit of the challenge.

So...did I do it? Did I "K.A.B.? Stay tuned to find out...