Hey, there. For my own sanity and just because I am just plain bored with this exploit as of late, I am putting relationships and kissing and meeting the right one and all of that stuff on the side burner for a bit. It will happen when it is supposed to. All I have to do is be ready and willing. Right now I am focusing on, as Rock would say, "loving my life" and being the happiest little single girl out there. Well, happiest tall single girl out there. (At 6 feet, I can no longer claim the adjective 'little'.)
Anyway, with that in mind, you can only imagine my surprise when I ran into an old friend in Boston and he asked me out...on a date...FINALLY! Well, at least I thought he did. You tell me how you would have interpreted this:
I run into...let's call him "Jake". Jake is very excited to see me. Actually, more excited than I have ever seen Jake before. He wants to hear what is going on in my life. He finds reasons to touch me and be close to me and can't seem to get enough of, well, me. We chat and laugh and smile at each other. He stares at me. He goes out of his way to talk to me. And...
Jake: "Let's go out. When are you here until?"
Me: "You want to go out? You never want to go out with me. What's your deal?"
He ignores me and continues on. (It's true, though: he is always a tough one to pin down with actual date-and-time plans).
Jake: "What do you want to do? Do you want to go see a movie? Let's go see "Benjamin Button". Yeah, we'll go see a movie and then go stroll around a book store. Because you like to write and you'd enjoy that, right? Right?"
Me: "Yeah, I'd love that." I smile.
Jake: He smiles. "Ok, great. It's a date."
And I look at him and am just like, Ok. Nice. But then...
Jake: "Would you mind if Sheila came?" (Sheila is a friend of both of ours. He lives with Sheila and some other friends. They are not involved.)
Me: (confused) "Uh, no. I guess not."
Jake: (two seconds later): "So...do you only date tall guys like Sheila? What's your type these days?"
Me: (even more confused as he said that last line very flirtily) "No, not at all. I like guys who are funny and kind. If they happen to be a little shorter than me, I don't mind."
Sidenote: Jake is just about my height.
Jake: "Ok."
Pause.
Jake: "Well, there are plenty of guys here tonight for you to talk to." But he said it as if he were asking a question which confused the heck out of me even more.
Me: "Uh, yeah...I guess?"
And...scene.
Let's analyze the sitch: First he is into me. Then he backed off. Then he is into me. And then he backed off again. I had to take a minute but then realized--I had been the victim of a Hokey Pokey ask-out! For the love of God, end the dance and make up your mind, man!
Fast forward to the next day. He texts me late in the day to catch the movie. I am already getting burritos with friends. He goes to the movie anyway.
I leave Boston. I text him. He calls me shortly thereafter. We have a fun phone convo for about 20 minutes. I say he should call me more. He says ok but that he is actually better on email. I say I am going to email him.
And since 2009 is all about being kind to myself and taking better care of myself, I email him the following (here is a small excerpt after some initial pleasantries):
I could be wrong, but it kind of felt like you were asking me out on a date the other night. Which would be nice, if that was indeed what you were doing. : ) But then you asked if Sheila could come along and it seemed like it wasn't a date anymore. And then you asked me what kind of guys I usually like and it seemed very "date-y" again. But then you remarked upon how many guys that were there "for me to talk to" and I was, again, confused.
Jake, I am not big on ambiguity. So, just know, that if you were to ever ask me out on a date, I would say yes (because you are fun and I really enjoy spending time with you). But if you weren't and I completely misunderstood you and you just want to stay friends, that is fine, too. And I mean this sincerely. No harm, no foul.
I sent this to him on Friday. I have yet to get any sort of reply.
At least I did not waste any more time on this one.
Men, no more hokey-pokey ask-outs, ok? Girls are just plain sick of the dance.
Good stuff. Next time, solicit my consult before sending follow-up emails. He's into you, however he may not have big enough stones to accept your candor and assertiveness. Ancillary to that, your self-confidence is far too rare and, I imagine, greatly admired by those close to you.
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