The 12 Dates of Christmas.

I realized something recently.

I love dating.

No, really. I know a lot of people don't get too jazzed about it, saying that it can be awkward and uncomfortable. And yes, sometimes it can. Sometimes it is downright Bizarro World.

But lately I have found that if I date just to date, relax and don't get attached to the result of meeting someone, I usually have a really fun experience. My friend Sean said this all of the time: "Livvy, all around the world people date, just date, all the time." The message he was trying to convey was dating is fun and light and should be approached with both in mind. Kind of like, Let go..have fun...date.

More than that, if I am honest about how I behave around a stranger (or relative stranger) as I date, I end up learning things about myself that I never knew (and begin to question things I thought I always knew). This process has been and continues to be quite revealing and unsettling but, yes, ultimately wonderful all at once.

Case in point, I was dating a great guy just recently. He happened to be very shy. I, as most of you know, am not. Throughout our courtship, though, I found I was putting myself on mute a lot in regards to my usual antics and turning a little shy, too. We were out at a party and I found myself playing the part of 'quiet girl' with him. That is until he went to the bathroom and I started dancing like my usual outgoing, foolish self. But I returned to being 'quiet girl' once he came back. What I learned is sometimes, if I am not being honest, I can turn into a chameleon in a relationship, adopt a partner's qualities and lose my authentic self in the process. I know all of us change a little in relationships and I am not saying that that is bad or unusual. What I am concerned about is when I begin the relationship not being myself to begin with and then keep changing more and more into someone I am really not.

Without dating, I wouldn't know this. So I believe in dating not just to find love but, also, as a powerful tool for self-discovery. And learning what I am really like when it's just me and a dude (as opposed to what I think I am like when it is just me and a dude).

With that in mind, I came up with a novel idea. Being that we are entering the most magical and fun time of the year, I am embarking on a dating adventure that I hope will be magical and fun, as well. I want to get to know myself--in the dating sense--as much as possible. In order to do that and, yes, to possibly find a great mate in the process, my goal is the following: to go on 12 dates between today, November 25th, and Christmas, December 25th. Yes. Twelve dates during 4 weeks of what is almost always the busiest time of the year. And this adventure will be known as The Twelve Dates of Christmas.

A few ground rules:

1. I can't ask anyone out.

2. Repeat dates, should they happen, won't contribute towards the total.

3. Someone I know must know the person I will be set up with. (A girl has to be safe.)

This project isn't all about me, though. Since it is the season of giving and since I have been realizing my lack of community service as of late, for every date that I go on, I will make a donation, donate time or put energy towards a charity that corresponds to the theme of that date. So for each 'gift' I get, I will pay it forward to someone else in return. For example, for my first date of "Partridge in a Pear Tree", since partridges are birds, I will donate a turkey to a food bank. And I will attempt to make a tie-in between the date I am on and a charity for as many dates as I go on.

Obviously, though, there is no way this can happen without the thoughtfulness and participation of my friends. So, do you know someone I might hit it off with? Do you know a great guy who'd like to date? Please let me know by getting in touch with me through this blog or Facebook. Since this season is always busy for everyone, these dates probably won't be typical--I mean, I'd love dinner or a movie but I realize, time-wise, the outings will probably be more 'Starbucks and looking at Christmas lights'. And that is just fine. I'll talk about my dates on my blog but I'll treat each guy with respect and will examine the date more in light of what I learn instead of exploiting these wonderful men who will be with me on this journey of self-discovery.

Do I really think I will go on 12 dates in 4 weeks? Yes. Well, yes and no. Yes, I think it is possible but no, it's a tall order for only thirty days and I won't be disappointed if I don't. Going along with the whole 'keep it fun and light' mindset, the joy will be in the journey and what I learn along the way. And at the very least I will have a fun story to tell my grandkids about the Christmas season I opened my heart (and calendar) wide to fun and love.

So, please let me know if you can help me on my quest of The Twelve Dates of Christmas!