The 12 Dates of Christmas: This is the remix.

My 6-year-old niece, Grace, is a very excitable girl.

You wouldn't expect it. Gracie (or Goose, as we call her) is a firecracker tomboy of a little girl, always in motion and always checking things out. She doesn't hug you, she tackles you. She doesn't kiss you, she grabs your face and pushes your cheeks together until you have a fish face and then plants one on you. Her high-fives hurt. There is a fierceness about her.

But this fierceness was not on display this summer during my sister's birthday party. We had it at sunset, on the beach, set up a food tent and ordered pizza. Goose was in heaven. Running in and out of the ocean, climbing rocks on the beach, and watching me as I tried to stand-up paddle board for the very first time, she was completely and totally in her element.

Maybe a little too much so.

When it came time to sing Happy Birthday and blow out the candles on the cupcakes, it was dark and we all looked around asking, Where's Goose? Soon enough we found her a little removed from our gathering, doubled over on her knees with her Mom rubbing her back, almost sick from all of the excitement.

Too much fun had nearly wiped Goose out.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving Eve, when I, too, was also completely in my element.

Or so I thought.

I didn't need to cook the next day (though I had expected I would need to) so I was off the hook. Everyone knows that Thanksgiving Eve is one of the best nights to go out since everyone is around to see their family. And to make it even sweeter, Villanova had a televised basketball game that night. I was beyond pumped.

For days previous, I told my sister how excited I was to go out, have some beers and see some fun people. I thought about it all week. I talked about it all week. And I turned it into a very big deal. This was somehow turning into my Big Night o'Fun. I go out all of the time but I was building this night into something else completely.

Then the night arrived. I had a couple of beers. I saw a few friends. And soon the bar was jam-packed with people. Things were getting good. Everything was fine...until I started to feel hot. And then I was seeing black spots. And then I started to feel like I was going to faint. I reached for Steph and nearly fell over, my vision going in and out. I told her I thought I was going to get sick. She helped me onto a stool where I sat with my head down, much to the interest of passers-by in the crowded bar.

That night, I ended up doubled over in the bathroom and home in bed by 10:30. Bad sushi? Or too many expectations? Maybe both and either way, like little Goose, I was nearly wiped out.

There can be too much of a build up. And here's the thing about fun: when you look for it too hard, it quickly evades you. Like a fickle child, it only appears when it wants to.

Like my Thanksgiving Eve gone sour, the 12 Dates of Christmas is also teaching me things I didn't expect to learn about fun and expectations. As in, take fun as it comes and just see what happens instead of expecting some grand sequence of events. To be as clear as possible, no dates have occurred yet. And I am, actually, quite ok with that. My whole keep it "fun and light" approach has made me appreciate however this turns out and just stay in the moment. Maybe there will be kisses under the mistletoe later this month. Or maybe there won't. Either way, no big. There is a timing to everything and with something like this, there is no exception. So even though this project seems to be morphing to focus more on the magic and Christmas and less on the dates, there still remains other kinds of love and fun to be shared.

With that in mind, the show must go on. Here are the first three ways I gave back this season. I share this in the hopes that you will be inspired to give back in your own way to causes and groups that mean something to you...

A Partridge in a Pear Tree--Ok, so I had thought giving a turkey to a food bank would be best. Grand visions of a big bird filled my head. Turns out they were much more in need of basics like tuna, peanut butter, canned fruit and beans. So I packed a bag of food and dropped it off at the Crisis Minsitry of Princeton. Want to give, too? Google a food bank in your area or donate to a very worthy organization called Feeding America. You can find them here: http://feedingamerica.org/

Two Turtle Doves--doves always make me think of peace. And when I think of peace, my thoughts usually go towards the troops who so selflessly give of themselves to keep us safe. One of my absolute favorite charities is Operation Gratitude, a group in California who sends care packages to service men and women serving in our armed forces. They are always in need of hand-written notes to include in the packages. I wrote some cards and well-wishes and, along with my colleague Erin, we gathered 425 notes and letters from the community and sent them to Operation Gratitude. Want to thank a soldier or wish them a happy holiday season? Do so here: http://www.opgratitude.com/

Three French Hens--Do you even know what a french hen IS? (I mean, I didn't.) Turns out it is a cousin to the chicken. With that in mind, I bought two chickens for a family in need through World Vision, a charity dedicated to building a better world for children. Two chickens, according to their website, "give children and families a lasting source of nutrition and income." And it was only $25! Looking for a really unique gift idea? How about buying a goat in someone's name? Or five ducks? Or an alpaca, sheep, rabbit or pig? Nothing says 'unique' quite the way livestock can and talk about a meaningful gift! Find out more here: http://www.worldvision.org/

Three down. Nine to go. And warmest wishes that you are creating your own fun, managing your own expectations and spreading your own kind of magic this holiday season.