It Was More Just a Moment.

What's it like to experience a bomb threat?  It's pretty friggin' scary. 

Except when the emergency text came through yesterday telling me to get off of campus immediately, I was definitely not using the word "friggin'". 

No.  Not at all.  Not so much.

So I hustled.  And this was not as easy as it could have been, unfortunately.  Because I had just gotten out of the shower.  And I was standing there in my unmentionables and my hair was soaking wet.  And my mind was racing thinking, Is this really it?  Is this how the story ends?  What a royally crappy ending!  So besides feeling panicked, I started to feel some heavy remorse, too.

Next, I did what came naturally: I went into my bathroom and put on some moisturizer.  (Dude...I was on freaked out auto-pilot at this point and this was the next, no-thought step to my beauty routine.  Don't judge me.)  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror just then and my face was pasty white since, in a nervous rush, I had used too much.  All I could think was how if something were to actually happen in my building, I would be found lying there, looking like a pasty white clown who couldn't get her crap together--neither physically nor mentally--in time.  I snapped out of it.  I threw on whatever was closest to me (this turned out to be a t-shirt and jeans) and then ran downstairs.

"This isn't a joke," I yelled at my roommate, almost on the verge of tears.  "There's a bomb threat.  We gotta go."

Steve barely flinched.  He then got up to get his bag and get going.  I found out later that he was "used to" bomb threats as he had been through so many before.  I pondered that thought a bit after hearing it.

This was not something I wanted to get used to.  Negative on that.

As I made my way out of the building, I advised the residents I saw with the very little info I had.  Mainly, it was to Get Out Of Dodge.  And fast.  To not pass Go nor collect $200.  But to leave, immediately.  What was confusing?  For people who live and work on campus, no one knew where to go.  Was it a case of being in the "bubble" of a college campus for too long?  Or were we all just paralyzed from the shock that this was even happening to begin with?  Either way, everyone was at a loss.  I drove a student into town since he was so eager to go (yes, dear, that was exactly the right way to be and the right place to go) and then I headed for my own personal Mecca.  Somewhere I knew I would be safe, away from campus and able to get my bearings.

Whole Foods.

I know...who goes to Whole Foods during a bomb threat?  Apparently me.  It actually makes more sense than you'd think.  There, I had internet access (I had remembered to grab my laptop) and access to healthy food (no need to fly completely off the handle, friends) and believe it or not, I was privy to a little blush and mascara from their beauty bar.  (It is strange what comforts you during an emergency but once I had some time to kill, it felt good to put some make-up on).

I set up shop, accessed my work email and just took a deep breath.

What the hell had just happened?  What was still happening?

Later I would find out that there had been a call, there had been a threat and it was a must to evacuate just to be safe.  The rest of the day was a blur of numerous conference calls and emails and just an overwhelming sense of being on edge. My eyes grew weary of my computer screen.  My mind was tired.  My phone is a bit old to begin with and since I had forgotten my charger (big problem) I had to keep my fingers crossed that it would not die before everything was resolved.

So yeah, experiencing a bomb threat is not fun.  Not fun at all.

The good news is that nothing was found and everyone was safe (and, on a much smaller note, my phone--the dinosaur that it is--stayed alive for the duration and pulled me through).  We were able to return to campus by early evening.  After camping out at Whole Foods and then shuffling over to Qdoba for a stress-induced burrito bowl, I had never been more relieved to go home.  Thinking of the alternative, I was even more relieved that there was a home for me to actually go back to.

What was the take-away from one of the most stressful days of work I've ever had?  It wasn't some huge life lesson.  It was more just a moment.  The moment when I questioned if this was the end.  All I thought was how I still wanted to be published and I still wanted to have a baby.  That was it.  My thoughts, at a time when my life felt slightly threatened, was how I still had these two very important things to accomplish. 

When push came to shove, all I could think of was how I still had a lot left to create. 

And looking back, there was a strange comfort in that.  To know that my head matches up with my heart is very calming.  Because in those types of moments, the truth comes out.  The really real, no-holds-barred, impossible to argue with truth.  It was nice to know that my truth is right on the tip of my tongue, even in a crisis.  And it is even nicer to know that I still have more time to make my truth come to pass.