Valentine's Day...ah, the heartfelt emotion, the chocolate, the pink and red happiness of it all. If you happen to have a valentine, life can be quite grand on this lover's holiday. If you don't, though, there's just something about the good ol' 14th of Feb that can quickly make even the chillest of single ladies (myself included) feel like the odd man out in an instant. With that in mind, here are 5 things I secretly wish my friends in relationships would remember as our focus on love naturally grows thanks to 2/14. If you want to avoid blank stares from your single friends as Cupid approaches, or on any day really, please...read on.
1) We're happy for you.
You've found that special someone. And we couldn't be happier. Seriously. We remember the days of you crying on our couch over that jerk who seemed great but then mysteriously dumped you via text. We don't want to go back there. (E-v-e-r.) Our ultimate endgame is to see you in a relationship if that is what you want. And for me, you're kind of my example--when I see you and your latest interest/steady boyfriend/devoted husband, I get a glimpse of what might happen for me down the line. And honestly, that makes me pretty psyched. (P.S. I never liked Mr. McTexty anyway).
2) The dating scene is totally strange now.
"Then he texted 'maybe' but I hadn't asked him anything."
"We made out like bandits but for three days he's been radio silent."
"He liked something on my Facebook page but still hasn't emailed me back about the party."
Perhaps these subtle nuances of the modern dating landscape might seem trivial to you, especially if you never had to deal with online dating or texting emojis instead of actual words. If you haven't dated in the last two or so years, trust us: it's a jungle out there. So let us explain it to you. We don't have that last call of the day/regular cuddle partner that you currently do. But we're trying to get there. Having a sympathetic ear as we do (even when it seems kind of silly or, in some cases, absolutely ridiculous) would really mean a lot.
3) Don't Leave us Out.
We like going out with you and your man. Yes, just the three of us. You don't always have to set me up or wait for a girls' night. I won't feel like the odd man out unless you make me. So once in a while, feel free to include me. You're important to me so he will inevitably become important to me, too. Plus, when I once again have a significant other, double dating will be a lot easier if I already know your dude. And hopefully our dudes, fingers crossed, will get along just as well as we do.
4) Watch Your Words.
Please don't tell me to "get out there" when it relates to dating. Where is this fabled "there" that you speak of? Don't you see me trying to make it happen on a regular basis in my dating world? (See #2 above). We know we're single. Sometimes we're cool with it and sometimes we're not. But please don't treat us like we're misfits. The other day a friend, after hearing my latest dating story, sighed and then said, "Oh, Olivia...what are we going to do with you?!" I think she was going for humor. Instead it felt like I was the last kid being picked for kickball. And I'm pretty killer at kickball. Anyway, I had never felt awkward for being single until that moment. So any kind of language you can use that is kind towards our "singular" situation, please use it.
5) Celebrate our life just like we celebrate yours.
We'll go to your wedding, eventual baby shower and future kids' birthday parties. And do so gladly. So please still come to our birthday parties, drinks to celebrate our new promotion or dinner to toast our acceptance into grad school when your schedule allows it. Because if the only time we're hearing from you is when you need something or to cancel our plans, we will wonder if we're still really friends. And trust us, we still really want that.
Have your own secrets you wish your settled-down friends knew in time for Valentine's Day? Please share them with me via Twitter at @saylivvy or find me on Facebook at
https://www.facebook.com/olivia.martel.writer
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